An Escape Plan When There's Nowhere Else to Go
If you can’t exist peacefully on Earth, where the hell could you go?!
Last week sucked for me and millions of other Texans. An Arctic blast grabbed the Lone Star State by the balls, while greedy, sociopathic energy executives did the same to the state’s residents by cutting power during one of our coldest winter snaps on record.
Relatively speaking, my family and friends fared well. When my apartment reached a chilly 55 degrees, I filled a backpack with warm clothing and toiletries and cautiously navigated an icy 40-minute freeway commute to my mom’s house, a decision I made based off the fact that she had amenities I did not — a fireplace and running water. Upon restoration of power and temperatures rising to a ~balmy~ 40 degrees, a grungy mixture of melting snow and slushy ice remained, eclipsed only by bursting pipes, structural damage, displaced families, hypothermia-related deaths, plus widespread food and water shortages. I’m leaving out some stuff, but it’s honestly too infuriating to revisit every single unjust detail.
After the focus on Texas’ power grid intensified online, so did my anger and exasperation at a system that (mal)functioned by design, its failure a sadistic component of its ability to prioritize profits over life.
Typically when I find myself entangled in a system that thrives on destruction and dysfunction, I’ve learned to acknowledge and respect my limits, throw up my hands and save myself.
This brings up memories of a toxic work environment I had the displeasure of experiencing, thinking I could effect change or believing that I was a wimp if I didn’t stay and fight. After too many years, I finally understood that not only was the system corrupt and far bigger than me, but there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it except pack my shit ASAPtually, and get the fuck out of there with my life and sanity.
But in this case, GTFO Dodge comes with extreme complications. Thanks to humans, this entire world is in varying degrees of crisis, and if you can’t exist peacefully on Earth as a human, where the hell could you go? If you’re Black, good luck finding somewhere you can feel safe and have your humanity prioritized because we know anti-Blackness is global. And it’s not like us oxygen inhalers can simply hitch a ride on the next mission to Mars (never thought I would envy a damn spaceship on a distant planet but here we are), and shoot the deuce to this cursed rock we call home. I’ve already decided to write some strongly worded letters and make some angry phone calls to voice my objections to the piss poor response to the power outages, but those options feel like utterly useless responses to a system that, once again, feels far too corrupt and widespread than me or my concerns about freezing to death or being saddled with a payment plan for a five-figure light bill.
Ever since I left that awful job I mentioned, I’ve grown by leaps and bounds. Life is far better than I could’ve imagined when I was cooped up in an office with a bunch of soul-sucking lowlifes. Since leaving, I have survived and thrived in spite of the beating I took there, so I know firsthand the benefits of removing yourself from a bad situation, even when you’re afraid of the unfamiliar. Even when you’re tempted to stay and fight.
Because I don’t know how else to cope, I’ve spent the past few days going within, becoming reacquainted with the tender, resilient, hopeful parts of me that know I still have positive, productive, healing shit to do here, even when the world around me is ablaze with injustice and atrocities.
It’s the only escape plan I have at the moment, but I’m open for suggestions.
Until next time,
Kenya