Overstimulated and Over It

For anyone whose brain is begging for a break right now.

Ueno, Tokyo... before this parallelogram ravaged our lives.

Behold, a personal photo I snapped in Tokyo prior to the pandemic (remember those days?). During my visit in 2014, I called my mom, excitedly exclaiming, “There are so many lights, and so much to see!” I know I sounded like a complete country bumpkin exploring The Big City™ for the first time. But I was serious! Aside from the electric atmosphere of downtown Tokyo, you’re subject to sensory overload even in surrounding areas like Ginza (shopping district), Harajuku or Ueno’s Ameyoko Market because there are colors, quirky characters, live marine creatures floating in Styrofoam containers and electronic signage practically everywhere you turn.

As intriguing as the city was, I couldn’t help but think about how quickly someone could get overstimulated from all of the flashing lights (here I go sounding country AF again, but stay with me).

I left the light-filled city of Tokyo in 2014, but somehow my 2021 brain feels like I’ve spent the better part of this year staring into the neon glow of endless busy city streets, my eyes glazed over from focusing on one too many scrolling LED signs with large Kanji lettering. Only the stimulation isn’t balanced by being on vacation, and instead of new-to-me sights and experiences sending my neurons into a tizzy, my mind is overstimulated by far too many day-to-day demands on my mental capacity and not enough opportunity to get away from it all.

At this point, life feels like one never-ending notification.

Too many hours in front of a computer. Too many meeting reminders. Too many effin’ emails (and too many email accounts, for that matter). Too many headlines detailing one traumatic incident after the other. Too much screen time. Too many adjustments to be made in this COVID-19 reality. Just TOO FUCKING MUCH.

Something always needs to be read, paid, responded to, written, cleaned, pondered upon, cooked, cleaned and processed, but it’s so much worse when these everyday adult responsibilities are compounded by the ongoing crumbling of life as we once knew it.

In the pre-pandemic days, I would blow off steam by treating myself to dinner and a few glasses of wine at my favorite restaurant, or go to a hot yoga class to center myself and disconnect from my daily stressors. And every once in a while, I would book a flight to a beach, where I would stare at the ocean and let the waves temporarily wash away my worries. But because I’m trying to be responsible until we collectively figure out how to safely co-exist with this godawful virus floating around, there’s no flight itinerary waiting for me, and when I do sip my wine, it’s done from the comfort of my couch. And before someone suggests a staycation, keep it. No matter how much you love being at home, it just doesn’t afford you the opportunity to disconnect the way physically changing your environment does. When I’m resting at home, I inevitably find myself fixated on something that needs to be cleaned, an email I just *have* to respond to or something else that couldn’t be further from relaxing.

A friend recently lamented over her need to get away and how so many people seem to have foregone recommended safety measures by traveling any and everywhere as if the pandemic doesn’t exist. I don’t really have any answers, but I do know that life will not stop for us; we have to find a way to slow down, rest and recharge because if we don’t, life will stop us in the most inconvenient manner.

So, how do we escape this? How do we get through this isolation period without turning into sun-starved zombies with long ass to-do lists and eye strain? I’m planning on booking a stargazing trip to West Texas in a few months (before I lose my mind and my edges). To cut down on contact with others, I’ll be driving and staying at a small boutique hotel that’s located inside a state park.

There, I will be far removed from thinking about missed deadlines 😩, who tried to overthrow the government this week 🙄 and whether or not ol’ girl finally got that Gorilla Glue off her scalp 🤦. I’m tempted to leave my laptop home so I can completely disconnect, but as a black woman traveling alone to a remote area, I know better than that so all of my gadgets (and weapons) will be tagging along. I’m confident that being away from the confinement of my everyday life will make it far less tempting to log in, except for a video call to check in with my mom to let her know I made it safely. I certainly won’t be booking any flights to remote islands or haphazardly gallivanting all over the globe because, again, I’m trying to be responsible and show some compassion for others until we can make sense of this absolute hellscape of a COVID-ridden existence.

After all we’re only human, and ain’t nothing humane about being cooped up inside for an undetermined amount of time with nothing but responsibilities to keep me company (blergh).

How are you taking care of yourself during the pandemic? Has overstimulation been particularly challenging for you or am I just trippin’?

Until next time,

Kenya

Check out my bylines from this month:

10 Ways to Celebrate Black History Month at Home - Apartment Therapy

Space of the Week: This Cozy Reading Nook is a Genius Idea For Small Spaces - Real Simple

Space of the Week: This Dining Room Shows How to Use Color, Pattern and Plants to Design A Happier Home - Real Simple